As the New Year settles in, many of us will question what’s ahead, and will look to the angels and spirits for direction in our lives.

And we should.

But, angels and spirits can’t communicate with a mind preoccupied by fear and its counterpart control.  A mind clouded by fear and control can only operate out of fear and control.

Love is the enemy of fear, and control is fear in disguise.

So, please listen: a mind open to love can receive and transmit deep spiritual insights and wisdom! A mind controlled by fear cannot, it can only be controlled by fear.

Now, when I say angels, I mean those beings of pure light and love who’ve never been human but who manifest themselves in living human beings. I’m talking about the influences of healing and love that can come to us from unsuspecting sources, including a kind word or gesture from a stranger, a new friend we meet, or even a lover who enters our worlds.

Angels can work magic! Angels bring healing and love!

When I was a young child, I began to see angels and spirits. I saw them as emanations of light and color that vibrated like strobe lights that bounced around.
I still see them that way.

I see color, I smell scents, I get “goosebumps” when they are around.

But I also see their presences in humans that enter my life.
I am open. Not controlled by fear or the desire to control the contours of my existence.

Key!

Recently, I have been noticing many changes around me. I have been attracting people of a higher and similar vibration, and trusting myself to allow them to come closer.

These people have shown themselves to be angels.They carry healing energy that speaks to my personal spirit in deeply meaningful ways. They didn’t enter my life through fear or a sense of deprivation: They entered after a time of victory over trial and pain.

They entered as a reward for the victorious battle against negative self-beliefs, which had kept me from meeting them for a long time.

These are angels in human form.

If you are stuck in the throes of fear and control, I encourage you to open yourself to the presence of your angels and spirits in the following ways:

1.Lose the Idea that you Have a “Type”
As they say, we are spirits here having a physical existence. You want to connect to sprit, not a physical type.
 
2.Notice How Others Make You Feel
If others make you feel ignored or unattended to, then don’t beg. Begging means that you are not their angel and they are not yours; it means you are acting out of fear, not love, and that you want attention and connection at any cost. Stop compromising yourself.
 
3.Be Self-Loving and Confident
Everyone wants someone who is self-loving and assured, even our angels in human form! Whatever your pains are, your angels in human form will show up to heal and love as you begin and undertake your own love and healing work yourself! Angels don’t rescue, they complement!
 
4.Accept Life as it Comes
Life is a tapestry of good and bad, and it’s only through the negative that we learn to appreciate the positive. Your angels in human form will have an appreciation for life in this way, as a reflection of you. The angels in human form will be a complete and true mirror of you and how far you’ve progressed in human life as a spirit.
 
5.Learn Unconditional Love
No one wants to be judged or loved for what they can give. Learn to love from a higher plane of existence. Open your heart to compassion and love for all of humanity, and untangle yourself from feelings of self-pity and self-focus. Align yourself with the highest form of love and let that highest form of love come back to you and bless you with its presence. Allow yourself to love without condition, without self.
 
Though I am an imperfect being writing on how to become more perfect, and to accept, recognize and give perfect love in this world, it is my hope that this message that we can animate the essence and behavior of angels and higher spirits in our lives has rung true.
 
We can be angels to each other.
 
We are.
 
Lovingly,
 
Michelle


-- 
Michelle


Enchanting Empress Psychic Services
www.enchantingempress.com

Change is one of those things that if we could, most of us would avoid at all costs.
After all, we are creatures of habit, and we like things to be consistent, steady and predictable, don’t we?

But change needn’t be avoided—it’s part of the creative process-- and as creative beings we must initiate and accept change if we are to grow, right?

​Think about it: you wouldn’t want to remain an infant your entire life, would you? You’d live in a constant state of dependency. You’d never be able to find out what you’re capable of or express your fullest potential. You’d have others making decisions for you, thinking for you, speaking for you, feeding you and carrying you around.

Doesn’t sound like full life to me, and I’m sure it doesn’t to you either.

So, the point is that even though we often dread change, it is a beautiful blessing: It gives birth to something transformative in our lives and the way we live them.
Change is transformative, yes.

It transforms us from dependence to independence physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. With each stage of life, change moves us along on a journey that drives us to become what we came here to become. Change is part of the soul’s mission here on earth.

That’s right: we came here with a purpose and the inborn soulful desire to fulfill it.

Now, if you’re at a crossroad in life, and are facing change either as a choice or a consequence, or have recently experienced a change you did not necessarily want, view it as a beautiful blessing: It came or its pending presence is in your life so that you will grow, transform, and create something new that matches who you need to become and the purpose you came here to fulfill.

If you recently had a change in relationship status, embrace the change. It means that the relationship has served its purpose in your life and you are being gifted with the opportunity to receive something more aligned with who you are and what you need to become, which is your soul contract.

This is 2017, which in numerology equals number 10; two plus one, plus seven is 10 and 10 is the number of completion. So, this is the year for moving on and accepting new beginnings in life.

The following are tips for accepting change and moving forward this year:

1. Take inventory of your relationships! This includes the relationship you have with yourself. Write down what you see, hear and sense. This is an exercise in listening to your inner voice – the voice that anchors your mind in the intelligence of your heart! This is an exercise in personal transparency, and so no need to censor yourself, as you are talking only with yourself!
2. Allow yourself to envision a new reality! If you’ve been in a relationship or a mental space of being “stuck” then imagine what it would be like to be free to experience joy! Identify the emotions and thoughts that keep you from experiencing joy and create a plan to replace them with more positive ones! This exercise is about giving you full permission to embrace the process of personal transformation and reinvention! Take it!
3. Write letters to those that have hurt you, maybe even a letter to life itself! Again, here you get to be totally transparent and free to express your emotions. Take the opportunity to unpack your burdens! Don’t be a bag lady or bag man!
4. Take your emotional debris to some water! Bathe, swim, shower, whatever! Be sure to cleanse away the debris and not take it to bed with you!
5. Think of life as a canvas and yourself as an artist! Learn to identify all of the colors that you have in your repertoire! Pull out those magentas, and deep purples, royal blues, and golden tones! You are the artist of your own life!

Please let me know how you’re doing by leaving comments or sending email or text! I’m here to help and so are your Spirit Guides! Remember: They want to see you grow!

​Now invest in yourself and accept change as a beautiful gift of Life! No more fear or dread, OK?
Your sister in Spirit,

Michelle

Dealing with sudden change is never easy, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

We all know how the story goes:

We meet someone, things seem to be going well, we have much anticipation for a happy future, and then suddenly the other person becomes aloof or distant – leaving us to wonder if they’ve lost interest, or worse –found someone else!
As the fear of loss and rejection seep into our minds, sending us into an emotional tailspin, we can’t concentrate, our nervous systems go haywire, we can’t sleep, and tunnel vision usually develops.

We become fixated on fixing our relationships, but mainly because we don’t want to confront our worst fears, we become fixated on fixing things outside of ourselves.

The keyword here is outside, because that is what we focus on.

With our vision firmly settled and focused on fixing things from the outside, we attempt to rescue or redeem our relationships, recapture the attention of the object of our affections, and typically try and resist the voice of our intuition telling us to accept the change, which is the new reality confronting us, and let go.

This is where we usually go into denial; we attempt to gain reassurance from the one we love; we start giving more attention, becoming more generous, we attempt to be more forgiving and agreeable, we make excuses, we insist that this person is a soul mate and that our connection is unbreakable, and sometimes we develop fantasies like we were sent by God to rescue that person from their own demons or limitations. We put on a cape, a nursemaid outfit, wear the mask of a mother or father and search our brains for ways we can become “better” for that person, because in our minds, it was our fault that the other person had a change of heart.

Here’s the thing: It is not ever our fault when the heart or mind of another person suddenly changes.

Here’s the other thing: We like to think things are our fault because somehow that makes us feel as if we have power to change things.

We don’t.

What we do have is the power to choose how we will react or respond to the other person’s change of heart and mind.
What we do have power over is internal – it is our greatest source of power – it is authentic.

Now, it would be unfair and remiss of me not to mention that there are times when a relationship can be saved and salvaged. The point is that under those circumstances, both parties are willing to admit that the connection needs work and are openly willing to go about the work of compromise, sacrifice, and healing together—as equals—hand in hand.

One person trying to save a relationship is akin to trying to save a sinking ship with toothpick.

If you have found yourself in a situation where you are experiencing sudden change in romance and love, and your partner is unwilling to cooperate, rebuild and heal with you, then you have no other choice but to accept their decision, and you must find the strength to let go.

We are talking about your dignity and self-worth here, and what is more important than your emotional, mental and physical health?

Are you not worthy of your own health?

Below are tips for regaining and protecting the mind, heart, body and soul after or during a sudden change, separation or breakup.

Invest in your personal power:

• Focus on reinventing your image, your life, your goals, and dreams. Staying stuck on the past and trying to relive or revive it only leads to continued suffering and misery. Keep your vision focused on the future version of yourself and your life. Create a vision board that describes how you see your life moving forward. Think of yourself as the CEO of your own life; write a mission statement and action steps for how you will achieve it. Get excited about yourself!!

Build community:

• When we are in pain there is always the temptation to self-isolate and shut down, but that can be dangerous and lead to depression. During change, open yourself up to community. Join clubs or groups whose personal goals, experiences and ideas match up with your own. Allow friends in. Build bonds with friends and create new memories with them. No need to ask them for advice, just enjoy your time with them and build! If the mind isn’t busy creating, it’s busy destroying! Create with your thoughts! Don’t destroy.

​Develop routine and ritual in your life:

• Habits can be replaced. So, where you may have once held the habit of over-thinking, develop the habit of mindlessness. Develop the habit of living in the heart and soul, the sanctuary of pure and authentic love, not the mind, where fear, sadness, sorrow and self-defeating energies live. Mindlessness doesn’t mean that you won’t have thoughts. It means that you won’t over identify with them and allow yourself to wallow in the negative energies that the mind can produce. The soul is the sanctuary, the head is a prison. Be the captain of your own ship and decide that you will anchor yourself in the habits of the heart/soul!

Take it slow and easy!

• Healing is a process, be compassionate and loving towards yourself. And by all means, don’t rush into another relationship and rebound! Instead, take time to heal and thoughtfully examine what you learned about yourself from the experience of love and attachment you shared with this person-- and perhaps with others during your journey here. Be patient, honest and transparent with yourself. If during your self-examination, you see that you have a pattern of co-dependency, then acknowledge that and commit to building yourself up without the need from others. Remember: if you refuse to love yourself, you will always chase others who refuse to give you love! Commit to self-love and self-honesty. Commit to growth and building the life you were given on your own terms!

Practice acceptance and Steer away from blame!

• When relationships end or things change, the temptation to play the blame game is always there. We blame the other person, we blame ourselves, we blame God, and the narrative of blame is endless. When we accept ourselves and others just as we are, and we accept things just as they are, we accept peace. When we examine ourselves and take responsibility for our contribution to the change or experience, we find peace and personal power. When we fault-find with others, we blame, and we accept victimhood, which is an assault on self-esteem.

It is my hope that my words here are received in light and love, and that readers know that these words come from lived experience. No preachy-teachy stuff here! I have lived through endings and new beginnings, rejection, and loneliness, but look! I am here! Life is a series of tests all designed to help us become who we ultimately need to become. So, in the meantime, learn to smile through the tears, and laugh through the anguish. When you do, you will find the rainbow awaiting—just beyond the horizon—just for you!

Submitted with love,
Michelle

​As evolving souls in human form, and with human flaws and personalities, there are four interrelated lessons that we will all face as we journey through existence on this earth plane, and these are
​1. Learning to let go
​2. Learning to live in the present
3. Learning to trust ourselves
4. Learning to make good decisions
​
While we each have unique lessons to master while we are here, these are among those that tie us together in a shared human experience.

It is our human experiences that provide us with lessons, and if we are paying attention, they motivate us toward spiritual growth and emotional maturity -- so that we can fulfill our destinies in a space of spiritual serenity, inner peace, and a sense of alignment with the flow of life.   

That’s right. We are here to fulfill a destiny, often called “soul contract,” which is the principle reason for the soul's arrival on earth. We are not here to fritter away our time by over indulging in self-serving forms of misery that stem from attachment to the past, present, or future; nor to people, things, or desires.

Yes, to live in a constant state of misery is self-serving.

Think about it: who else benefits from our misery except ourselves?

So, if you think you were put here to experience a “forever love”, or if you are stuck in a sense of loss, wallowing in misery, and hell-bent on holding on to something from the past or hoping for something in the future, then I encourage you to reflect on the teachings of the Buddha, who taught that attachment was the source of all human suffering.

You might now be imagining that this blog piece is all about attachment and learning to let go, and you are right.

When I was in my early twenties, I imagined that I’d go to graduate school, get married, have babies, be surrounded by a group of loving and supportive friends, and then settle into domestic bliss as an educated housewife. Hahahaha! Wrong! I can laugh at it now, but the misery and hell I put myself through while being attached to those desires is what I’d really like to focus on here.

Attachment to a desired future caused me to put pressure on myself to find a mate, to become the type of woman I thought would be marriageable, and to hold on to friends, no matter how dysfunctional they were, or how dysfunctional my love life made me, all so that I could attempt to satisfy those desires.

The truth is, I was totally attached to how I thought I wanted my life to be, and that led me through a decade long experience of total misery. My attachment to those desires and fear of losing relationships turned me into a people-pleasing, self-effacing wallflower. It meant utter misery and discontent in my soul.

Though I did get married, have children, and earn post graduate degrees, I also got divorced, fired from jobs, lost friendships, and had children with health care needs.

So there we have it.

And here I am, full circle. Now teaching and living out my soul contract as a guide who sees in the dark and shines a light for all those who seek it.

I came full circle when I decided to let go; to remove all attachment from desire, and to just live freely, moment-by-moment, trusting myself, unchained from the past, and unencumbered by the future.
​
What I became when I let go is who I am today, the woman, the soul writing this piece, urging you to spend your time here wisely and to recognize that there is nothing to gain in being attached or enslaved by desire and its best friend fear, and everything to gain from letting go, where there is peace and expansion of life.

If you are struggling with holding on to someone who was a certain way in the beginning of your relationship, but who appeared to make an abrupt change, or if you are struggling with desires that cause you to feel that you need others, or if you are attached to fear of loneliness, just remember that you are the source of your misery and suffering. As such, you can also be the source of your happiness and healing -- just by letting go.

While I could see my future and it was revealed to me, my own desires caused me to resist what I saw, and that resistance created more suffering.

Remember: All things in life are temporary.

We are only here temporarily. The only attachment that we will ever be able to hold onto is our own soul. Look after it, listen to it, follow it, trust it and cherish it always. It’s all you’ve got. It’s all you will ever truly “have.” Your soul is not here to be enchained and held back by the desires of your personality. It is here to fulfill a mission that is not about you, but that is about you. Please feel free to share your thoughts. This is part one of a series of writings I plan to do on this topic.

Submitted with love,
Michelle

Let’s be honest, Love is the main reason we suffer on this earthly plane. Is it not?

We spend much of our time wondering if someone loves us, or will ever love us? We spend time wondering whether our marriages will last, or if we will ever find the love our lives. We spend time wondering if friends really love us, and sometimes whether our parents do. Correct?

To add to that, many of us feel that we’ve been deprived or cannot attain that which we desire most in love, right?

Then we blame God, the Universe, a ghost, or just plain bad luck.

We convince ourselves that Love will pass, or has passed us by because we are victims of a cruel Universe.

Not True!

I’m here to remind us that there is a higher purpose for uncertainty and suffering, particularly in love:

And it’s called Humanity.

The beauty of Humanity is that it’s always teaching us to grasp and live in the present moment.

Humanity teaches us to be humble and to see our desires as legitimate, but not worthy of a self-absorbed emotional or mental life.

As humans, we are here to learn how to make good and better choices, and to steer our destinies; to take control of our lives, through the storms and upsets, and to make our way toward peaceful waters.

Through the storms, life teaches us that we are not here to rely on fate.

It teaches us that we are not here to rely solely on predictions, premonitions and omens, but instead to make the most of them all using our gift of intelligence.

Let me be clearest:

While we all have personal desires for Love, if they become self-focused, we turn away and shut ourselves down from Higher Love; that which we desire most.

Higher Love is about the expansion of the heart to sense the presence of love in the atmosphere, to fully embrace the love that is offered to us from others, and to transcend self-centered desires that bereft us of the beauty of Love that energizes the entire World.

What I'm saying is that we can be part of the problem of love-starvation in the world, or we can be part of the solution.

We can stay stuck in complaining and misery, or we can rise above to higher heights.

​The choice is ours.

The purpose of this entry is to help lead us toward the clarity needed for understanding how love works in our lives, so that we are not all-consumed by its power, and so that we become enlightened souls who do not assume that fate and destiny are in control of our love lives.
 
Fate:
While much has been written about fate, at is essence, it is about chance. Fate is about the “cards we are dealt in life.” In that way, fate is about how we play our hands, and is not the same as “destiny,” which is to be described later. Fate teaches us to be better captains and engineers of the directions of our lives and to become better decision-makers; the Universe is always giving us potential, and that is fate. It us up to us as to what we will do with that fate, to accept it, and sometimes through conscious decision-making change or alter it.
 
Karma:
Karma has to do with the choices we make in life. It works together with fate to help us become conscious of how to direct the experiences we've created and inherited. Yes, karma is both created and inherited. Through Karma, we become more aware of the way that fate is working in our lives. When we make good decisions, we have good karmic outcomes. When we make poor decisions, we have poor karmic outcomes. In this way, we can influence fate. Our choices determine our karma, and our karma determines our fate.
 
Destiny:
I’m sure by now you’ve heard of “destiny” in a way that means “finality.“ But the truth is that destiny is not final. Destiny, like the Universe itself, is ever-flowing and fluid. The beauty of life is that we can make choices that affect destiny. The choices we make create and become our karmic outcomes, and the potential which brought the opportunity for those choices to us in the first place is the work of fate. Destiny is an outcome of the choices we make (karma) based on the potential, which is fate.

But, like fate or karma, destiny is not predetermined. It is a combination of fate and karma. To become the masters of destiny, and what happens in our lives, we must first become the masters and engineers of fate and karma. We must first declare that we are not victims of either.

Next time you wonder if you're destined to be with a particular person, stop yourself. The choice is yours. The fate and karma of your life are up to you. And your destiny is yours to control. 
​
If you would like assistance on figuring out how fate, karma, and destiny can be transformed in your life, please contact me at [email protected]
Submitted with love,
Michelle

Just about everyone has heard that people come into our lives for “Three Reasons,” right?

Such as a reason, a season, and a lifetime?

Sound familiar?

Well, I’m here to break that down into more simplistic and practical forms.
While it’s true that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, and a lifetime, this post has more to do with how we translate that concept into a more personalized set of lessons to grow from.

If you can’t tell by now, I’m all about growth!

Here’s the scoop:

People come into our lives for these reasons:

1. To teach us something
2. To help us to heal something
3. To guide us toward self-transparency

Wait, wait! Before you yell at me: Yes! There is overlap! People come into our lives to teach, help us to grow, and help us to heal all at once.
​
But, if you are wondering how others fit into your life, then I encourage you look at them through this lens:

• Teachers:
  • Those are others who help us to see ourselves in a holistic light, if we let them. Most of our teachers come in the form of negative experiences. They teach us to see how others perceive us, and the impressions we are giving that send them the message that our boundaries need to be improved, or that we are out of balance in how we show and express love. Teachers are often our nemesis.
• Healers: 
  • Those are others who show us the flaws we cannot otherwise see in ourselves. These healers can be parents, children, enemies, friends or lovers. They can show us the best in ourselves, or the worst of ourselves, but most importantly, they show us who we are. If we are wise, we take note and grow. If we grow angry with them or resentful, we attract others who will show us the same until we do.
• Guides:
  • Those are others who come to show us a mirror. There is a great quote by Sister Maya Angelou that is “Never trust a naked man to give you his shirt.” Translated, this means that there is no reason to trust someone’s declaration of love who doesn’t first love themselves. So, if you’ve been trying to give your love away to others without loving yourself first, stop. You will meet with rejection until you do.

Law of Attraction/Karma
A lot has been written on the laws of karma and attraction. I’m also here to try and clear those up.
Rule #1:

• Just because you’re loving and kind in spirit, doesn’t mean you will meet up with others who are as loving and kind as yourself. In fact, it means that you will often face tough tests. These tests are driven by your higher self to see if you are true, and if you can hold the Light of the Universe in your daily actions. These tests are also designed by your higher self so that you can become more discerning of character and more self-loving. The tests help you to rise from victim to victor. Get it?

Rule #2:

• You will often meet up with others who are opposite to you in spirit, and who need to learn from you; these characters are your teachers, healers, and guides. They will tempt the worst in you in order for you to embrace and accept the best in you. They will lie to you, betray you, attempt to use you, and sometimes abuse you.

Victimhood
You were not born to be a victim. You were born to gain knowledge of who you are and why you are here. If you keep feeling victimized, you will no doubt attract a plethora of victimizers into your world who are ready to take whatever they can from you. If you want to end this karmic process, then:

1. Take responsibility for your choices. Ask yourself why you are choosing victimizers into your world, and what they have come to teach you about yourself. What is it that they are showing you about yourself that you cannot or will not see?
2. Demand that your growth is not fueled by drama and pain. Tell the Universe that you’ve had enough! Speak it out! Words are powerful! Say, “I don’t need drama, pain, and chaos to fuel my growth!” And mean it!

Learn to see each person as a combination of teacher, healer and guide in your life, all for the benefit of your growth.

Karmic Transformation
Once you accept and love yourself without the need for approval, acceptance, or validation from others, the quality of those you attract will improve; you will attract others from an authentic part of yourself, not the part that feels unloved, needing of validation, approval or acceptance.
Once you recognize that no one else can heal your karmic lessons around self love, you will attract that love that you crave, and that your soul deserves and it will come in the form of friendships, lovers, mates, business opportunities and career advancement.
If you insist on having others transform your karma for you in the form of co-dependency, you will feel “stuck,” and stuck you shall remain; in misery and victimhood.
Life is offering you the golden opportunity to grow, heal, and transform for once and for all. Begin by looking at your relationships as a mirror. Who are your teachers, healers, and guides to transparency?
Thank them for the pain they brought, and by all means let them go if you want to grow.
Keep them only if they have bring out the best in you, constantly, as that is proof that they are there for more than a reason, a season or a lifetime.
They will have shown you that you are your own teacher, healer, and guide.
Submitted with love,
Michelle
If you need more assistance, please contact me at [email protected] to discuss coaching options.
My next piece will be on Letting Go.
 

Many people think there’s a difference between a psychic, a palm reader, a tarot card reader, a diviner, and a medium.
 
There is not.
 
You may have heard that all mediums are psychics, but that not all psychics are mediums, and that tarot readers are neither psychics nor mediums.
 
That’s just not true.
 
An authentic psychic is at once a medium and a reader, and the use of a tool such as tarot does not matter; because a psychic is a psychic, or they are not.
 
With this blog entry I would like to provide clarity for once and for all on this subject, so that hopefully, others can steer clear from scam artists and deepen their own intuitive powers.
 
Let’s start with this . . .
 
To be effective, every intuitive or sensitive whether called psychic, medium, intuitive, sensitive, or reader must demonstrate the following:

• Clairvoyance
  • Extrasensory perceptive sight or vision
• Clairaudience
  • Extrasensory perceptive hearing
• Clairsentience
  • Extrasensory perceptive feeling
• Claircognizance
  • Extrasensory perceptive knowing

 
If you visit a psychic that cannot communicate with your deceased loved ones, then that psychic has underdeveloped skills and will not be able to provide you with an accurate reading.
 
While it is possible for one to see more clearly than to hear, it is not possible to hear without seeing.
 
An effective and developed psychic sees, hears, knows, and feels; all at the same time, they will be able to effectively communicate with past, present, and future spirits (forms of intelligence) and sentient beings.
 
Would you go to an accountant that could only add and not subtract, multiply and divide?
 
No. An accountant must be able to perform all functions of mathematics.
 
Same for a psychic, who must be able to form all functions of extrasensory perception.
 
Guardian Angels
 
One thing I am commonly asked is to give the name of one’s spirit guides or angelic presences.  
 
There are many self-proclaimed psychics who will tell others that their guardian angel is Michael, Gabriel, or Raphael.
 
If you hear this from a psychic, run!
 
Your guardian angel will make itself known to you, and only you; and it may never give you a name. The point is that you don’t want someone who’s been “trained” by an institution or card-reading manufacturer to give you a reading. You want someone who can demonstrate their psychic competency based on their ability to focus solely on you, and not give you a generic or canned reading that features well known angelic figures.
 
Reading cards, palms, pendulums or oracles (tea leaves, shells, stones, etc) is not an academic exercise, it is a natural or inherited talent just as singing, writing, cooking, leading, teaching, or athletics, etc.
 
Psychic development does not come from reading a book or learning from others; it comes from the soul.
 
As much as I would have loved to sing like Whitney Houston, having her teach me would not have given me her talent or gift.
 
I know that many say that we are all born with intuition, and that is true. But let’s face it, I might sing in the shower, but that doesn’t make me a Whitney Houston.   
 
It makes me a good shower-signer.
 
We each have talents and gifts, and the ability to see, hear, feel and know in this unique or psychic way is just one.
 
The Creator (some say God) provides many to humankind.
 
If you feel that you have untapped psychic talent or ability and would like help developing it, please contact me at [email protected]
​

I’ve tried writing on the topics of loneliness and rejection for quite some time, and have struggled to find the right words to express insightful teachings on both.
 
When, finally, the word narcissism came to me.
 
Hey, now! Don’t let that word shut you down!
 
No shame. No blame. No condescension. No judgment.
 
My purpose here is to facilitate a process of self-study about the ways that we often sabotage our own chances for happiness in love by holding on to thought habits and subconscious patterns that lead to rejection and loneliness in our lives.
 
Interestingly, we create what we say we don’t want!
 
First off, make no mistake about it, happiness is our birthright.  
 
I’m not suggesting that anyone play a totally passive role in life and accept dissatisfaction or discontent.
 
To the contrary, what I’m suggesting is a more proactive approach to happiness and love that doesn’t stem from an underlying view that we are entitled to love or happiness, or that either is a drug: We are not here to remain as tantrum-prone toddlers, or to be addicts.
 
We are here to expand, grow, and become emotionally and spiritually mature.
 
What I’m suggesting is that happiness is not a possession, nor is it a destination, and most importantly it is not about control or gratification of personal desires.
 
Those things include the essence of greed, which only create love starvation in ourselves and by extension the entire world.
 
What I’m here to say is that though many of us have been taught that happiness and love are competitive sports, they are not.  
 
Happiness, just like love, is not authentic when driven by a sense of personal gain, especially at the expense of our own well-being and the desires of others.
 
Happiness and love come from a place of altruism where ego fades away, and the motivation is uncondiitonal love, not the alleviation of loneliness, which is narcissistic and self-serving. 
 
The following bullet points depict the subtle and unconscious ways that narcissism and narcissistic thoughts lead to chronic loneliness and rejection in love and life.
 
If you have found yourself saying things such as these, then rejection and loneliness might be a product of narcissism:

•  “I can’t help who I love.” 
  • ​This is self-deception at its greatest, folks. If this were true, I’d be in love with my banker who takes my money and any random person on the street. The truth is that we have been given the gifts of intelligence and rational choice; life commands us to use them wisely, so pay attention and be selective about whom you give your heart to. If you think that you can’t control who you give your love to, then you will experience repeated loneliness and rejection—you will give your heart to who you want to love—not  necessarily who wants to love you. Wake up! Fall in love with how others treat you, not because you want them to love you, or you want love from them..
• "This person just needs someone to love them properly, and they will thrive, be happy and love me.”
  • Nonsense. Does anyone buy a diamond ring that is missing stones in hopes that loving the ring with missing stones will make it shine fully? Falling in love with potential is for real estate agents and home-flippers, not for those looking for love. Be aware of narcissism disguised as heroism, false compassion, or savior mentality. All of these things will destroy you and your self-esteem.
• “I want what I want.”
  • Then you haven’t grown past a 2-year-old emotionally. You are living in an adult body, but what else?  I’ve raised four children. Need I say more?
•  “I’m picky.”
  • While it’s good to be selective, be aware of narcissism disguised as pickiness. You will never find a male or female version of yourself, and if you do? Run!
•  “I can only love that person and no other.”
  • If you’re stuck in the past, narcissism might be blocking you from new opportunities. Each person that enters our lives comes with their own gifts. Open your heart to the gifts they offer. Humility is good for the soul. 
• "I give my all in love, and just want someone to reciprocate."​
  • Well, did you get to know this person before you gave your all to them? Are you misusing your generosity in hopes of gaining” others' affections? If so, this might be narcissism on your part; you want to be needed.
•  “I’ve never been able to find the love and connection that I seek.”
  • Why? Are you secretly asking someone to affirm you, or heal your wounds with their attention and love? Guess what? That’s the work of your own soul, not theirs. Healing is why you’re here. No one else can heal you. It is unfair to burden others with your work.  When you do so, they will run away and reject you. Period.

If you feel stuck in matters of the heart and would like more information on my life or relationship coaching services, please contact me at: [email protected].
 
I am here to help.
612-567-0493
 
Submitted with love,

​Michelle