I know it’s been awhile, and I apologize for my long sojourn. But I’m back! I’m happy about that and I hope you are, too!
You know, life had to teach me more lessons to share with you, and so that’s what I intend to do, right here and now!
OK. Let’s jump right in to the subject. It’s one that I’m sure you’ve thought and read about, but please allow me to give my perspective. Ahem! It’s about … drum roll …. The Five Types of People Who Teach Us How to Better Love Ourselves!
Aren’t you excited? I am!
As we travel into the New Year, now is a good time to give some advice on how to learn from lessons from the past and apply some wisdom moving forward.
Don’t you agree?
Relationships provide the most painful experiences in life, whether they concern family, love, friends or coworkers, relationships always come with pain. Why? Because they help us to grow!
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m all about growth and turning my pain into knowledge for personal development and wisdom. Most importantly, I’m all about transforming Karma--that pesky thing that follows us from lifetime to lifetime, and which brings us here in the first place--that entire force which influences our lives and ultimately our fate.
So, even though this topic is about types of people who teach us, it’s also about recognizing our own karmic participation, so that we don’t unconsciously stay stuck in unwanted and painful karmic cycles.
Now, the way I have labeled these “types” may come across as negative or with a negative vibration, but the truth is we are ALL guilty of them, and the key to transforming karma is to become aware of ourselves as both students and teachers in this big classroom called Life.
None of us is victim. We are at once creators and recipients of pain, just as we are at once creators and at once recipients of pleasure. How we impact that pendulum of pleasure and pain, which I call Karma, is up to us.
In 2018, which in numerology vibrates as the number 2 (2+1+8=11, and 1=1=2), I am encouraging everyone to engage in a process of deeper self–study. Specifically, around how we participate in the creation of Karma, first by becoming aware of personalities that exist around us, and then by recognizing the tendencies that exist within us.
The following is a list of “types” and tips for how to identify them before you get caught in an unwanted cycle with them, or how to learn from them if you already have. Most importantly, these types have been placed here as a tool for self-reflection. The advice is to grow and change – that is if you seek to rise above these types and transform your Karma and your life!
- The Emotional Predator: Usually, these types are on the prowl for those they perceive to be lonely, depressed or needy. They lavish attention in the beginning of a relationship as a way to get others “hooked” on them. They study the vulnerabilities of others and prey upon them, making others feel that they “need” them, or creating codependent situations rife with emotional abuse. Beware! Always be cognizant of the vibration you are carrying so as to not attract these types; there are an abundance of them roaming this planet. They tend to be married and lead secret or double lives. They prey on others because they are afraid of being preyed upon, and because they don’t care who they hurt, as long as it’s not themselves.
- The Constant Complainer: You’ve heard of that film “The Constant Gardner”? Well, this is the Constant Complainer. This type of personality constantly complains about the pains he/she has experienced in life. If allowed, the entire conversation will be consumed by this person’s need to complain about pain, and when given the chance to listen to others, they can’t. They are self-absorbed and self-possessed and even when friendship, love or compassion is offered to them, they cannot fully appreciate it because they are addicted to complaining. They only given when you agree to listen to their complaining. This type never stops to self-reflect on how they self-victimize. Of course, others will walk away in annoyance. Who wants a one-sided relationship? What they complain about, they constantly do to others. Bad Karma. These types have a lifetime of Karma where they cry over lost stones when diamonds are offered to them.
- The Disappearing Act: You know these types. They disappear and reappear at will; they come around when they need something or when it’s convenient for them. They, too, are self-involved and can’t see beyond their own selfish lens in life. Oftentimes, they are at once the Constant Complainer and the Disappearing Act. Stay away from these types and don’t let yourself be misled into thinking that you can heal them with your attention or love. They don’t want or deserve it. Like Will Smith admonished: “Never chase people.” It’s emotionally dangerous to chase a Disappearing Act. Let them stay gone.
- The Spiritual Vandal: These types will exhibit forms of micro aggression. So, for example, if you express your opinions to them, they will spray you like a skunk with the stench of self-doubt. We all need others to offer different perspectives, but these types simply want to be contrary and dismissive of your ideas and opinions. The goal is to diminish your confidence and leave your aura feeling “vandalized.”
These types will always be ready to help you doubt, question or second guess yourself with their snide remarks. Driven by their own issues with petty competition, they are deeply disloyal in friendship and love. Stay away.
- The Emotional Bully: This type searches out those who are in need of approval, validation or acceptance. The main tools of the Emotional Bully are: silence, ghosting (disappearing), shaming (spiritual vandalizing), and rejecting. The key to keeping them off your karmic path is to keep a high sense of self-worth. Bullies and predators seek out those they perceive to be needy or “weak.” They are energized by creating an artificial sense of being needed. Beware!
It is my hope that this piece assists you in navigating your way through the rocky terrains of human relationships, and the Karma associated with them.
Remember: We are always teachers and students here! To study ourselves is to study Karma. Those we attract into our lives appear to teach us about parts of ourselves and personalities we cannot see and that need transforming.
If you want to change who and what you attract, change who and what you are!
Wishing you every good with for success in 2018 and beyond!