Such as a reason, a season, and a lifetime?
Well, I’m here to break that down into more simplistic and practical forms.
While it’s true that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, and a lifetime, this post has more to do with how we translate that concept into a more personalized set of lessons to grow from.
If you can’t tell by now, I’m all about growth!
Here’s the scoop:
People come into our lives for these reasons:
- To teach us something
- To help us to heal something
- To guide us toward self-transparency
Wait, wait! Before you yell at me: Yes! There is overlap! People come into our lives to teach, help us to grow, and help us to heal all at once.
But, if you are wondering how others fit into your life, then I encourage you look at them through this lens:
- Those are others who help us to see ourselves in a holistic light, if we let them. Most of our teachers come in the form of negative experiences. They teach us to see how others perceive us, and the impressions we are giving that send them the message that our boundaries need to be improved, or that we are out of balance in how we show and express love. Teachers are often our nemesis.
- Those are others who show us the flaws we cannot otherwise see in ourselves. These healers can be parents, children, enemies, friends or lovers. They can show us the best in ourselves, or the worst of ourselves, but most importantly, they show us who we are. If we are wise, we take note and grow. If we grow angry with them or resentful, we attract others who will show us the same until we do.
- Those are others who come to show us a mirror. There is a great quote by Sister Maya Angelou that is “Never trust a naked man to give you his shirt.” Translated, this means that there is no reason to trust someone’s declaration of love who doesn’t first love themselves. So, if you’ve been trying to give your love away to others without loving yourself first, stop. You will meet with rejection until you do.
A lot has been written on the laws of karma and attraction. I’m also here to try and clear those up.
- Just because you’re loving and kind in spirit, doesn’t mean you will meet up with others who are as loving and kind as yourself. In fact, it means that you will often face tough tests. These tests are driven by your higher self to see if you are true, and if you can hold the Light of the Universe in your daily actions. These tests are also designed by your higher self so that you can become more discerning of character and more self-loving. The tests help you to rise from victim to victor. Get it?
- You will often meet up with others who are opposite to you in spirit, and who need to learn from you; these characters are your teachers, healers, and guides. They will tempt the worst in you in order for you to embrace and accept the best in you. They will lie to you, betray you, attempt to use you, and sometimes abuse you.
You were not born to be a victim. You were born to gain knowledge of who you are and why you are here. If you keep feeling victimized, you will no doubt attract a plethora of victimizers into your world who are ready to take whatever they can from you. If you want to end this karmic process, then:
- Take responsibility for your choices. Ask yourself why you are choosing victimizers into your world, and what they have come to teach you about yourself. What is it that they are showing you about yourself that you cannot or will not see?
- Demand that your growth is not fueled by drama and pain. Tell the Universe that you’ve had enough! Speak it out! Words are powerful! Say, “I don’t need drama, pain, and chaos to fuel my growth!” And mean it!
Once you accept and love yourself without the need for approval, acceptance, or validation from others, the quality of those you attract will improve; you will attract others from an authentic part of yourself, not the part that feels unloved, needing of validation, approval or acceptance.
Once you recognize that no one else can heal your karmic lessons around self love, you will attract that love that you crave, and that your soul deserves and it will come in the form of friendships, lovers, mates, business opportunities and career advancement.
If you insist on having others transform your karma for you in the form of co-dependency, you will feel “stuck,” and stuck you shall remain; in misery and victimhood.
Life is offering you the golden opportunity to grow, heal, and transform for once and for all. Begin by looking at your relationships as a mirror. Who are your teachers, healers, and guides to transparency?
Thank them for the pain they brought, and by all means let them go if you want to grow.
Keep them only if they have bring out the best in you, constantly, as that is proof that they are there for more than a reason, a season or a lifetime.
They will have shown you that you are your own teacher, healer, and guide.
Submitted with love,
If you need more assistance, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to discuss coaching options.
My next piece will be on Letting Go.