1. Learning to let go
2. Learning to live in the present
3. Learning to trust ourselves
4. Learning to make good decisions
While we each have unique lessons to master while we are here, these are among those that tie us together in a shared human experience.
It is our human experiences that provide us with lessons, and if we are paying attention, they motivate us toward spiritual growth and emotional maturity -- so that we can fulfill our destinies in a space of spiritual serenity, inner peace, and a sense of alignment with the flow of life.
That’s right. We are here to fulfill a destiny, often called “soul contract,” which is the principle reason for the soul's arrival on earth. We are not here to fritter away our time by over indulging in self-serving forms of misery that stem from attachment to the past, present, or future; nor to people, things, or desires.
Yes, to live in a constant state of misery is self-serving.
Think about it: who else benefits from our misery except ourselves?
So, if you think you were put here to experience a “forever love”, or if you are stuck in a sense of loss, wallowing in misery, and hell-bent on holding on to something from the past or hoping for something in the future, then I encourage you to reflect on the teachings of the Buddha, who taught that attachment was the source of all human suffering.
You might now be imagining that this blog piece is all about attachment and learning to let go, and you are right.
When I was in my early twenties, I imagined that I’d go to graduate school, get married, have babies, be surrounded by a group of loving and supportive friends, and then settle into domestic bliss as an educated housewife. Hahahaha! Wrong! I can laugh at it now, but the misery and hell I put myself through while being attached to those desires is what I’d really like to focus on here.
Attachment to a desired future caused me to put pressure on myself to find a mate, to become the type of woman I thought would be marriageable, and to hold on to friends, no matter how dysfunctional they were, or how dysfunctional my love life made me, all so that I could attempt to satisfy those desires.
The truth is, I was totally attached to how I thought I wanted my life to be, and that led me through a decade long experience of total misery. My attachment to those desires and fear of losing relationships turned me into a people-pleasing, self-effacing wallflower. It meant utter misery and discontent in my soul.
Though I did get married, have children, and earn post graduate degrees, I also got divorced, fired from jobs, lost friendships, and had children with health care needs.
So there we have it.
And here I am, full circle. Now teaching and living out my soul contract as a guide who sees in the dark and shines a light for all those who seek it.
I came full circle when I decided to let go; to remove all attachment from desire, and to just live freely, moment-by-moment, trusting myself, unchained from the past, and unencumbered by the future.
What I became when I let go is who I am today, the woman, the soul writing this piece, urging you to spend your time here wisely and to recognize that there is nothing to gain in being attached or enslaved by desire and its best friend fear, and everything to gain from letting go, where there is peace and expansion of life.
If you are struggling with holding on to someone who was a certain way in the beginning of your relationship, but who appeared to make an abrupt change, or if you are struggling with desires that cause you to feel that you need others, or if you are attached to fear of loneliness, just remember that you are the source of your misery and suffering. As such, you can also be the source of your happiness and healing -- just by letting go.
While I could see my future and it was revealed to me, my own desires caused me to resist what I saw, and that resistance created more suffering.
Remember: All things in life are temporary.
We are only here temporarily. The only attachment that we will ever be able to hold onto is our own soul. Look after it, listen to it, follow it, trust it and cherish it always. It’s all you’ve got. It’s all you will ever truly “have.” Your soul is not here to be enchained and held back by the desires of your personality. It is here to fulfill a mission that is not about you, but that is about you. Please feel free to share your thoughts. This is part one of a series of writings I plan to do on this topic.
Submitted with love,