What do you think?
Well, as one who is fairly quickly becoming an elder (smile), I tend to think we choose. After all, we do have brains that are equipped with intelligence and that are capable of being aware and conscious, right?
Though it may be tempting (especially to the hopeless romantic at heart) to think that love "chooses" us, in truth, we choose it.
But nice try:-)
Largely driven by the human need to express affection, to feel connected and accepted, we seek out love partners. Of course, sexual attraction and sexual chemistry are part of the process here, too!
But, ready for the tricky part?
The love partners we choose provide us with a mirror that shows us our own flaws and deepest fears -- flaws and fears we may deny or that we don't necessarily know are there, which is why we choose others to bring them out -- because only then when we are aware can we heal, grow, evolve, transform, and mature ourselves and our personalities.
Why do you think we are drawn to a certain "type?"
Love is nature's way of making us aware and conscious of who we are.
"Wake up!" love says. No pain no gain!
Here, you might be saying, "She's wrong! I'm not like so and so, he/she was a jerk!" Well, deary, you chose that person:-) The key is to figure out why!
For example, I'm sure you have seen highly compassionate people who are partnered with those who are seemingly non-compassionate, and you wonder what it is that draws them together, right? Well, it's far beyond the idea of opposites attracting. It's because somewhere in the compassionate person is a need to have their compassion affirmed by others, and the way they do that is to choose others who are non-compassionate to them-- sadly enough, this person will likely choose abusive partners because they are afraid of not being compassionate. Sounds sorta twisted, I know. But think about it. Similarly, a physically attractive person may fall in love with others who appear to be just as attractive, because somewhere in them there is a fear that they may not be attractive enough. And of course we have the "nice girl" who is attracted to the "bad boy." That one is way familiar, isn't it! Well, somewhere in that "nice girl" is a fear that she isn't really that nice, so she selects others who will affirm that fear.
You get where I'm going here, right?
OK. The moral of the story here is that if you ever find yourself wondering why you have to endure so much disappointment and pain in your love relationships, or why you are repeating a pattern of disappointment, the answer should now be fairly clear: It's not about luck, or chance, or destiny. It's about choice and self-awareness!
Just remember: You have the power to choose, so choose carefully and intelligently.
Offered with love,